Born August 29, 1980 to mother Rosemarie Quezada, and father Frank Wanczyk, I grew up in Denver, Colorado. I have always had a very adjoining relationship with my mother. She is not only the greatest mother one could ask for but she has been my best friend, greatest support, and has discipled me when I needed to be motivated and corrected. She is an ordained Pastor, a licensed Christian Counselor, and has been a great Spiritual example of how to love God especially through trials while growing faith against the odds of a dysfunctional and broken life. I am so proud of her achievements and extremely grateful to have her in my life. She has been a real-life "Wonder Woman", and my God sent backbone when I wasn’t able to stand on my own. My father on the other hand was hardly ever there for me the way a son needs a loving dad and male role model. Over the years I would see him from time to time, but we have never truly bonded or shared a genuine love and fellowship.
Sadly, addiction has played a huge part in my family for many generations. My dad seemed to love his addiction to beer, getting high, and showing his wife, ex-girlfriends, and their families more love than wanting to give his own son. Growing up, it was “normal” to see the majority of my family throwing back cases of beer, cracking open bottles of booze, popping pills, and smoking weed for any occasion including birthday parties and Christmas. Another generational curse flowing through my family’s veins is the sin of homosexuality. I have many cousins and aunts who are both openly and secretly living a gay and lesbian lifestyle. I have always been around the lifestyle.
Growing up in Catholic "religion", my mom had an encounter with the Holy Spirit and made the decision to dedicate her life to her new "relationship" with Jesus Christ. Just months after my mom made the decision to give up her sinful lifestyle, I came out to her. Or should I say, I was thrown out of the closet! I got into an argument with a good friend of mine from high school. So, my friend took it upon herself to call my mom on the phone and out me for revenge. I was devastated and was afraid to go home. I remember staying over at another friend's house for about a week without calling my mom in order to let the dust settle.
When I finally returned, I found my mom in her room very depressed. Her worst fear became a reality, her son was now gay. She went through a roller coaster of emotions including sadness and anger. I told her there was nothing she or God could ever do to change my mind. I am gay and will live my life this way. With our spirits and lifestyles now conflicting, I went off the deep end. I started making lots of friends who also felt like misfits, rejects, and bonded through vanity, sex, drugs, and a lot of parties.
I had always been a straight A student, but I only attended one semester of college before dropping out. Over the years, I became an alcoholic and a serial monogamist. Looking for love in all of the wrong places, I jumped from relationship to relationship wanting to feel loved and accepted. In September of 2011, I found out that my partner of 5 years gave me HIV. I had never cheated on him and was destroyed. How could this happen? I felt shame, used, and so lost! I soon became like the walking dead. I was wreaking havoc in every way imaginable. I drank a bottle of vodka a day and was introduced to ecstasy, which soon turned to the dark world of crystal meth, and pnp "party N play" sex addiction. Feeling every sensation from the drug, while forfeiting every feeling of being a healthy and loveable human, I was completely empty. Every night, I would get on line using grindr, a4a, and every other app to seek my next encounter to have sex and blow clouds of meth with. One thing that I was always careful of, thank God, is disclosing my HIV status and I refused to hook up with others who were not infected.
One night while cruising online, I ran into a friend who invited me over to his sex party with plenty of men, dope, and porn. He told me that a friend of his would soon pick me up. As a truck pulled up, it was then that I met my ex. I couldn’t tell you who else was at the party that night. All I know is that there was something very attractive and intriguing about the man who would soon become my partner. We exchanged numbers and became inseparable. Over the next two years, our very open and toxic relationship became much worse. We became physically and emotionally violent towards each other as we fell deeper into crystal. Turns out he had pulled me along for quite a ride into the dope scene that I wish I never took part in. I soon met a lot of very intense addicts, dealers, and criminals. Tired of being homeless and wasting away to 140lbs, I fell into paranoia, anorexia, bulimia, and depression. I was on Lithium, benzos, and many other psych meds. I was literally on a fast for the devil.
Running from my violent and very infatuated ex, I was trying to hide anywhere I possibly could while slowly killing myself. I was now shooting up meth at least twice a day and I had nowhere to go except back to my mom’s house. The worst thing that I have ever put my mom through was her getting arrested for my bad choices. She had never been in trouble a day in her life. She was arrested because my mom and I chose to get a restraining order against my ex for constantly stalking and harassing me at her house. My ex got mad and got one against us by lying and falsely reporting us. The judge chose to believe him and all 3 of us got arrested for violation.
After finally getting rid of my ex for good, I met a man who became my rebound. The year it became legal to marry in Colorado we decided to get married. Our marriage seemed normal. He didn’t use drugs and hardly drank. We were homebody’s and worked normal jobs. We had a dog and our own place. One day his ex emailed me and said, “Patrick, you need to know who you’re married to! Google his name.” So I did and found out he molested a little girl and was convicted of bank robbery! Crushed again, I filed for divorce, went back to meth, and ran off to the races.
Realizing that I no longer wanted to run, I asked my mom for help. She introduced me to the Victory Outreach Men’s Recovery Home in Albuquerque, NM in 2016. When I went into the home, I was finally open for change. I was so broken and had hit rock bottom so many times that I knew I was going to die and needed a miracle! I surrendered my life to Jesus and He set me free from meth, homosexuality, psych meds, depression, bitterness, and witchcraft! At one point in my past, I was so mad at God that I messed with Ouija Boards and was happy to run towards the enemy!
Today, I am so grateful for my new life! I am very involved with the church and working on the most important relationships. I'm currently restoring my relationship with my mom, myself, and I'm drawing closer to God everyday! Once, I was homeless and hopeless. Now I find every possible way to spread hope through loving and encouraging others! I have 2 jobs that I am very honored to have, Amazon and Door Dash. I'm proud to be a front line hero doing my part during this pandemic instead of barely existing as the empty person I once was.
I would also like to testify and share that after many test and confirmation, I am now HIV free! Our God is a healer and miracle worker! I am also glad to report that the Lord is now restoring my dad and I's relationship! He can do all things! I am not perfect and have made a lot of mistakes, but I'm forgiven! I am not where I’d like to be, but at least I’m not where I once was! I'm no longer a slave to sin! If He can rescue me, I know He can save you! Jesus is the only one who can take a nobody and turn them into someone special full of purpose, and passion!
Thank God for a praying mom! It’s never too late to change! All it takes is a surrendered heart! Don’t quit! Turn your pain into purpose! God has set me on fire and I am grateful for the gifts of creativity He's given me...for He deserves all glory!
Stay tuned for my book coming out called, "Open My Encrypted Heart"