I have spent a lot of my days worshipping from the pews, but worshiping on a stage and getting to watch everyone else worship gives a lot of perspective. I’ve been leading worship for over ten years now. I’ve got to lead at my parents church, camps, ministry school, stadiums with thousand of people and so much more, but these past two years as worship pastors with my husband have been the most eye opening of them all.
I’ve been singing all my life and leading since I was a teenager. Worship has always been a part of who I am and it’s always been my favorite. I never imagined I would enter a season where worship would become hard for me. But then again I could have never foreseen all the things the past two years would bring. Before my husband and I moved to Rome Georgia to become worship pastors we had been serving along side leaders or traveling for years, but had yet to step into a lead worship pastor role. To be honest, when we moved here we thought we had all the tools already to become worship pastors, but we quickly learned how much we didn’t actually know. We knew how to lead worship, but we didn’t know everything about leading people. We didn’t know everything about being pastors honestly. The amount of pressure being a pastor puts on you and how much more of ourselves we were going to have to give to be truly devoted to this.
You ever heard someone say the stronger the calling the harder the enemy attacks you? Yeah well we must have a really strong calling here in Rome because as soon as we moved here the attacks started coming. Just a few short months into working here we got in a car wreck at night with two other staff members and our 2 year old at the time in the car. They basically t-boned us on the side my daughter was on and totaled our brand new car... I’m talking we bought it a month before we moved. We had no gap insurance, no car (cause we only had one at the time), and I was going to the chiropractor now for wreck related issues. As we continued on, we almost lost our house and I started experiencing crippling anxiety like never before. My health started getting attacked and so many things kept getting thrown our way. On top of that, I felt like I had to hide it all because we were pastors on staff and “our lives have to be perfect”... what a crippling lie I believed.
In the midst of this, my worship became stale. My faith was becoming weak. I was losing myself. I found myself crying and saying to my husband “God doesn’t even care about me”. Then a few Sunday’s later I found myself on stage having to lead King of My Heart and sing the words “you are good” in front of all of these people... what if I don’t believe it right now? Can I tell you that God checked me in that moment. Here’s the beauty in the healing of worship.. I felt the Lord say to me “there’s power in allowing your spirit to sing what your flesh doesn’t believe”. What??? You mean I can sing before I believe? If I’ve heard it once, I’ve heard it a million times and somehow I still found myself forgetting that “praise proceeds breakthrough”. Praise is not the result of a breakthrough, a breakthrough is the result of your praise. There is freedom found in making declarations you haven’t yet seen but hope and believe will come. The Lord doesn’t need us to be perfect to receive our breakthrough He just needs us to be willing to receive it.
Worship not only affirms the truth of God but it's in worship where the Lord dwells.
"Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises." Psalm 22:3
The word for praise used here in this scripture is Tehillah. There are 7 words for praise in the Hebrew language and this one represents praising with singing. The Lord is literally enthroned in our singing. When we worship we don’t worship to empower ourselves to obtain our breakthrough, but we worship to invite the only one who can truly bring forth our breakthrough. To receive your breakthrough, you have to literally open your mouth and sing. I’ve been worshipping all my life not knowing the true power of what I’m doing. I’ve been inviting Him in on Sundays and closing the doors on Monday through Saturday. I guess that’s why the word says to let praise continually be on our lips, because as long as we are singing He is dwelling right here with us. Breakthrough isn’t just found on Sundays. It’s found in those moments dwelling with Him.