Two years ago the lord laid it on my heart to write. I am by no means an avid writer, so it was very shocking when that was the avenue God was leading me down. I didn’t know whether it was a book, journal, or blog. I just knew “write”. I went through months of doubting and feeling unworthy. The thoughts and even testimonies were in my mind, but I was so chained by fear. The “what if’s” were so overwhelming. If God wanted me to share, my stories were so vulnerable I would be embarrassed for others to read them. That’s how the enemy kept me from obeying the voice of the lord.
We went through a really hard time last year and on top of the physical struggles we faced, God started weeding me of the emotional problems. Talk about a really exhausting year. I had four babies ranging from 1-6 and not only were our finances being attacked, but God was healing me through so many areas in my life. Add homeschooling my two oldest children on top of that; it was a borderline recipe for disaster. Somehow God not only kept me alive, but thriving. There were breaks of coffee, sneaking dark chocolate in the nook behind my fridge, and crying in the shower. But God brought me to a place of freedom in Him. My freedom came in my obedience to write. I would be overwhelmed and tasking the kids to help with chores, and the lord would lay a subject on me saying “now.” I would go over to my little iPad with a keyboard case and type away. I typically just let God speak through me. By my obedience He started ministering to me through my own words. Healing took place because I could read what He gave me, knowing I was the one who didn’t think it. He started spotlighting areas and exposing the root of the problems I was facing.
One year ago God gave me a name. He gave me a vision for it as well. The one lonely puzzle piece united with more and started outlining a beautiful landscape of a picture. I was finally able to see that it was so much more than me. Through writing God gave me a name. He gave me a purpose.
So often we hear about peoples breakthrough. We hear this powerful, knock you off your feet testimony. We never really hear the raw, unrefined story of how it came to pass. We may hear small clips. The lords spoken to my heart. So many want to keep their glass stained and appear perfect while showing what God did. That’s fine, but God is looking for transparency. God is looking at the heart. I've prayed to be broken for Him. I have prayed to help even just one person get overcome something I’ve already conquered through Jesus. The Japanese art of Kintsugi is a beautiful example. I was a broken glass, God took my shattered pieces and one by one started putting them back together. He dusted it off, glued it back together, and added gold. He never mends the cup like it was, but it's changed. It’s perfectly imperfect. It is a conversation starter, a testimony of where it's been, and where it is now. He uses our brokenness and makes us whole in such a beautiful new way.
God has given me the name “The Potter’s Daughter." My purpose is to lead you into a deeper walk with Him through my experience and testimony spurring you into allowing Him to heal different areas in your life! Reading my blog alone will not deepen your walk. Reading your bible, praying in the spirit and truth, meditating on His word, and obeying His voice is what will lead you into deeper waters with God. My blog may just be a catalyst to get you boiling. God's the Potter and we are the clay. Let Him mold you into who He created you to be! Let Him heal, mend, and deliver you so you can do what He needs you to do in this very crucial hour.